In ballet, Acoda is a word which is used to represent the final act in a ballet duet, the pas de deux.
Each person, does a solo called a pas seul or variation, before entering this phase and with each curve, the dance brings the two closer to this climax, the acoda, where there is the union of souls, for in the acoda, two dance as one and create dance so beautiful, streaming from one person and finishing in the next, that you are lost in the movement and rhythm.
Like all artistic expressions, dancing gives us a little inkling of what life is about- a journey of solos-a chance to prove oneself before the grand ball room of fortune.
And in a duet, the dance of two, a pirouette leads to the climax(the acoda), which signifies the end of that journey and closes the dance floor.
Like all good things, life comes wrapped up in twos- yin and yang, front and back, right and wrong and it is the wisdom of a man to choose which path he would trod- where his destiny would lead him.
And even as he makes his own path he should remember not to neglect others and as much as he can, lead them and when he needs to, let them lead him.
For two make the journey light and three, is certainly company enough to wade through a storm.
If there's anything this year thought us, it's the need to adapt easily and reach out when we need to.
With zoom calls and Skype and a lot of time on our hands, loneliness came with such a bite in the beginning of the lockdown that one would often find oneself craving the touch of another, the sound of laughter, even the triviality of small conversations and small talk.
There were weight gains and dieting programmes, workshops and self improvement sessions, there was also the learning of skills and grief: lots and lots of it.
“For I shall make it clear that those very circumstances which you think are crushing me can be borne”, Seneca says in “The Shortness of Life”:
“And we are born under circumstances that would be favorable if we did not abandon them, and every individual should be able to make himself happy-
“For external goods are of trivial importance and without much influence in either direction: prosperity does not elevate the sage and adversity does not depress him.”
And this I had to learn like so many of us.
Grief
Each part in a man's life should be planned like in a dance where each chord ends to give birth to a new.
But this is not always the case for sometimes, from a life full, a man dances and comes suddenly to the end of his life.
A few days to Christmas, I lost a relation and though I was not particularly close to this relation, I felt the sting of his demise like as if it were my own immediate family.
I bore this heart ache and on Christmas, amidst the noise and succor of fresh food and jubilation, I imagined his family alone, sitting in their living room, waiting and wondering what their life would look like from then on.
“For all sorrows have been wasted on you if you have not learned how to be wretched.” Seneca says.
What does this mean ? Does Seneca say that it is necessary to experience grief and be so engulfed in it that it shows or is he saying that we should be so ready, so that when it comes we'll be prepared to face it head on?
“For Life will follow the path it began to take and will neither reverse nor check its course. It will cause no commotion to remind you of its swiftness but glide on quietly. It will not lengthen itself for a king’s command or a people's favour. As it started out on its first day, so it will run on, nowhere pausing or turning aside. What will be the outcome? You have become preoccupied while life hastens on. Meanwhile death will arrive and you have no choice in making yourself available for that.”
Death, The Silent Postman
Death does not prepare you in advance for it and neither does grief.
Like a candle light, it is blown out and in a wisp, the life of the one that once was, is gone.
If there is anything this period has taught me, it is not to hide from grief especially when death comes unexpectedly.
“For it is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it.”
“For if it has withdrawn, being merely beguiled by pleasures and preoccupations, it starts up again and from its respite gains force to savage us.”
And this means facing it, for grief that has been conquered by reason is calmed forever.
For then with this knowledge, knowing that life is indeed short and each breath is a step toward to that crescendo, that acado- we should live our lives to the fullest, in the company of wisdom, as we close each chapter and move to the next.
Steeped in the pages of destiny are the lives of great men who have borne on their shoulders grieve and happiness, love and life, grace and forgiveness.
And just like they, we too may be victorious in these things.
Old and Grey?
"In our sorrow we should not think that a man has lived long because he has white hair and wrinkles: for he has not lived long but existed long."
And though in each of those wrinkles are acres of experience borne by the wisdom of time, not all men are wise to use their years well and so many others though young, even without the gifting of grey hair, get to live larger and better than their aged counterparts.
And this has become commonplace.
With a time that has seen the deaths of both the young and old alike, I am convinced that the shortness of life is not the problem.
But the content of that life.
For like a field, if our lives are stretched and watered and vineyards fill our backyards and orchards are plenty, and garlands adorn our houses and fruits our baskets, in both wealth and virtue, then old age becomes merely an adornment and addendum to an already perfectly fulfilled life.
So should we mourn then when life is short but well lived?
There is a certain expectation providence has placed on the lives of every one of us and if we fulfill it, I think we have done well.
But how jocund would it be to be old and wrapped in warm sheets with ones loved ones flanked around? This is a desire worth fanning but a life well lived is the ideal.
Leverage
It is important that we learn to leverage on our opportunities and not let them slip through our fingers for a life of perspective is one which through noise and storms, one has learnt to leverage on his opportunities, learn from his mistakes and forge ahead.
With this in mind, let us learn to trust and not pretend, let us face our difficulties head on and persevere, and because we know that we will one day have our dance.
And as the curtain closes, with the music signalling the end of our tune, may we be with the knowledge that we have lived our best and done our best and danced, most satisfactorily, our own acoda, the dance of two.
In about 5 hours we'll be ushered into a new year. 2-0-2-1🌇
I'll leave you with this question by James Clear in his own goodbye publication-
-What is a mistake you seem to repeat each year?
-What can you do to prevent it this time?
Till next year,
Yours intimately,
Sedo.
Acoda
What is this magic??🥺
Every word, every line and every paragraph ushered me into the trail of events that made 2020 a force to be reckoned with.
Thank you for this beautiful one. You really saved the best for the last. It turns out to be my favorite of them all!