Hello there!š
Bits and pieces of this particular edition are excerpts from Donald Millerās amazing book, āScary Closeā Chapter Six: Performance Anxiety in Real Life.
āSomewhere along the line I think many of us buy into the line that we only matter if we are strong or smart or attractive or whateverā- Donald says
The performer in us takes the best out of each of us sometimes.
We want to sing betterā¦we want to speak betterā¦.we want to write better.
I donāt have any of those cheesy stories where I tried to write to impress someone into sacrificing their *mkpuru obi to me but I knew a friend who was so taken by aĀ girl that he wrote a love note to her everyday.
If you were born after the 90ās, this may seem like a strange concept to you
But back then, love letters where the in thingā¦
Nowadays, Snapchat and Whatsapp have stolen the modicum of formality that expressions of romance once had.
It's not like I'm complaining. :)
It makes things a lot simpler, truly.
But back then, one note took from minutes to hours cause perfection was key.
And in spite of this, my friend did it everyday.
It was later on I realized that he did one silly thing though- he never wrote his name in the address.
He was scared, he told me.
So why waste all that time?
As naĆÆve as this sounds, this is what performing is-
Youāre this amazing person
But no one knows you
We know who you pretend to be
And heās amazing
Really amazing!
But you know thereās something lacking
And it gnaws at you once in a while
But over time, youāve convinced yourself that this is the only way to live.
But what if it isnāt
What if thereās more??
When will you stop writing your love letters without an address?
The koko of the matter
The sad thing is that performance has a way of taking its toll and replacing honest communication with an act.
And thatās why itās so dangerous
After the tall tears and sad days, hereās what I learnt from my friends love letter story-
You can pretend for only so long.
Your cards will come tumbling down, sooner than you like if you continue to act.
If you summon the courage to write a love letter, you could at least make sure you put your name on the address.
If people become obsessed with the idea of who you show them you are, it may take a lifetime or never to correct that impression.
So for a few weeks now, we've been on this review of Donald Millerās book, āScary Close.ā
How has it helped you?
Do you have questions youād love to ask? Or suggestions?
If you do, please feel free to reach me on Whatsapp here.
Iāll reply all DMās promise. :)
Nuggets to Nosh
The reality is people are impressed with all kinds of things:
Intelligence, power, money, charm, talent, and so on.
But the ones we tend to stay in love with are, in the long run, the ones who do a decent job loving us back
{*glossary-*mkpuru obi: piece of a heart.}
Meanwhile, I published this gorgeous piece on memories in iPoetry a while back. Check it out.
To a yummy week,
Yours intimately,
Sedo.
Nawa Sedoh. Keep dragging me. Perfectionism and performer syndrome are two things most creators and young people struggle with. We want to stand out in the life and online scheme of things so much so we twist who we are so much. Sighs. It's well. We'll relearn how to write our letters with addresses.
P.S: mkpuru obi had me laughing out loud
The constant nudge to come out of our shells and start performing! Thatās how it has helped me. Thank you for this one El Chaperoneš .