The Performer Syndrome 2

Love Notes and Memories

Hello there!💌

Bits and pieces of this particular edition are excerpts from Donald Miller’s amazing book, “Scary Close” Chapter Six: Performance Anxiety in Real Life.

“Somewhere along the line I think many of us buy into the line that we only matter if we are strong or smart or attractive or whatever”- Donald says

The performer in us takes the best out of each of us sometimes.

We want to sing better…we want to speak better….we want to write better.

I don’t have any of those cheesy stories where I tried to write to impress someone into sacrificing their *mkpuru obi to me but I knew a friend who was so taken by a girl that he wrote a love note to her everyday.

If you were born after the 90’s, this may seem like a strange concept to you

But back then, love letters where the in thing…

Nowadays, Snapchat and Whatsapp have stolen the modicum of formality that expressions of romance once had.

It's not like I'm complaining. :)

It makes things a lot simpler, truly.

But back then, one note took from minutes to hours cause perfection was key.

And in spite of this, my friend did it everyday.

It was later on I realized that he did one silly thing though- he never wrote his name in the address.

He was scared, he told me.

So why waste all that time?

As naïve as this sounds, this is what performing is-

You’re this amazing person

But no one knows you

We know who you pretend to be

And he’s amazing

Really amazing!

But you know there’s something lacking

And it gnaws at you once in a while

But over time, you’ve convinced yourself that this is the only way to live.

But what if it isn’t

What if there’s more??

When will you stop writing your love letters without an address?

The koko of the matter

The sad thing is that performance has a way of taking its toll and replacing honest communication with an act.

And that’s why it’s so dangerous

After the tall tears and sad days, here’s what I learnt from my friends love letter story-

• You can pretend for only so long.

• Your cards will come tumbling down, sooner than you like if you continue to act.

• If you summon the courage to write a love letter, you could at least make sure you put your name on the address.

• If people become obsessed with the idea of who you show them you are, it may take a lifetime or never to correct that impression.

So for a few weeks now, we've been on this review of Donald Miller’s book, “Scary Close.”

How has it helped you?

Do you have questions you’d love to ask? Or suggestions?

If you do, please feel free to reach me on Whatsapp here.

I’ll reply all DM’s promise. :)

Nuggets to Nosh

The reality is people are impressed with all kinds of things:

Intelligence, power, money, charm, talent, and so on.

But the ones we tend to stay in love with are, in the long run, the ones who do a decent job loving us back

{*glossary-*mkpuru obi: piece of a heart.}

Meanwhile, I published this gorgeous piece on memories in iPoetry a while back. Check it out.

To a yummy week,

Yours intimately,

Sedo.