I'm Lonely

a tear filled momentary pause

Lonely

How do you find yourself when you're lost in the chasms and tides

In the still water your face is murky

Murky fingers, spider webs

Cloud the core of my mind

Tainted glasses, opaque lines

Colors my mind blank

Listless

I walk this path

Carrying nothing but sorrow

And dry grief. That sliding down my face is a wet blob

That once pooled my heart with hope

Love

Joy for tomorrow

Confused in this chasmic chasing

I trudge further into this valley

Of nothingness that calls out to me

(Originally published on Medium)

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The piece above is my attempt to explain how I've been feeling for the part few weeks.

I've been out of it for a while now.

And so I decided to take a step back from social media and my publications for a while.

And while I hardly have writer’s block, giving the situation around the world, I felt (and still feel) really drained.

To all who noticed and reached out, thank you.

I smiled widely at each of your concerned messages.

You've become more than my subscribers.

You're literally family now. ;)

Loneliness And The Covid

Most mornings and evenings in this COVID go by like a blur of activity for me these days.

Breakfast, Read, Write, Sleep, Eat and the cycle continues.

With the constant silence, I find myself wondering what noise is like.

Happy noise, school noise, church noise etc.

These days, my streets are so empty it feels like someone put a big blanket of melancholy on the roads.

I'm tired!

Honestly.

To add to that, just last week, I had a conversation with my vet about the absolute disregard my dogs were paying to their hygiene these days.

From playing around with their food and making a generous mess, to excreting wherever they found comfortable.

(Is this puberty?)🤔

I'm tired of staying at home.

We all are.

And while I enjoy the peace and quiet, and rhythm of activities, I've found out that I can't wait for life to start again.

Hope, in Spite of…

Despite all the grim I scoop up from CNN and Channels everyday, I’ve found that I'm still very hopeful about life.

And while I can't wait to hug my friends and go to events again, I'm thankful for all this free time.

If not for anything, because of all the space I've found to build my creative muscle, take courses, connect deeply with my loved ones and have the time to clear out the cobwebs in some of my past relationships.

If you haven't been doing anything at all during this period, what are you waiting for to get on this bandwagon?

“Life comes for us only once. So live it well.”

A wise somebody once said.

Alternate Realities

Boredom and loneliness these days play with me in humorous sprinkles.

Let me tell you a story.

Early Sunday morning, I found myself on a gorgeous motorcycle, black jacket, breathtaking shades, accompanied by none other than Banks, my lovely seven months old bull mastiff.

Hers’s a picture of the booger

It was a dream obviously!

Apparently we were going grocery shopping.

And while I love spending time with my dogs, I don't think a motorcycle joy ride would be seen by anyone as an adequate past time.

I'm lonely and most times, it seems like I'm living my life in my head.

It can be a lot.

Because of that, I've decided to change up how I do things which is by taking daily works, daily meditation and gardening.

In the front of my compound is a large family of what we Nigerians normally refer to as Green.

At least I'm busy.

If you're not going to work yet, you could try out some out of the ordinary things too.

Just to get yourself right side up again.

Just do something.

Be productive.

Be creative!

Before we go, here are some really cool things I learnt this week-

Apple and Siri👾

Elon Musk and his Covid wahala👾

P. S Letters from Sedo will come to you again on Sunday, 6th of June.

To my interim (continued) holidaying and holding up,

Till next time,

Sedo.